The day I stopped waiting for permission - Kathy Varol

The day I stopped waiting for permission

waiting for permission

The moment I decided to be the main character in my own life story was the moment everything changed.

Imagine this:

There’s a vision board pinned up inside your mind, glittering with all the aspirations you’re itching to reach—starting that side hustle, clinching that corner office, finally penning your first novel. These aren’t just pie-in-the-sky daydreams; they’re your private treasure map.

But here’s the twist:

It’s not the ‘X’ marking the spot that’s crucial, it’s what the ‘X’ represents. Autonomy? Creativity? Recognition? The magic lies in the ‘why,’ not the ‘what.’

Now, humor me with a bit of self-inquiry. What nefarious, self-spun myths are coiled around your ambitions, holding them hostage? I know I’m not the only Olympic gold medalist pointing fingers: “If only they’d see my potential,” we lament, passing the baton of our own fate to someone else.

I had been acting like a sidekick in my own life, waiting for permission. There I was, standing on the precipice of ‘What If,’ looking out over the ‘If Only’ valley. I realized I was the architect of an invisible barrier. It wasn’t installed by anyone else, this was a constraint of my own design. The epiphany hit hard: I had outsourced my potential to the whims of chance and the stamps of approval from others.

So, I threw down a challenge for myself. How could I green-light my own projects, be the one to pat myself on the back, and say I’m ready to bet on myself? Once I took accountability for every aspect of my dreams, I took control of the narrative rights to my story.

Choosing yourself is the ultimate power move.

Taking control is about drafting a Plan A, B, and Z for your dreams, without relying on anyone to roll out the red carpet to your goals. It’s scribbling ‘entry by self-permission’ on every door that dares to appear closed, or finding a window to climb through instead.

Let’s go back to that vision board. What route does your private treasure map show to that dream of yours? For me, it was realizing that I didn’t need an invitation to the table—I could build my own darn table. It meant embracing the quirkiness of my own ideas, and launching projects that set my soul on fire even if they made others reach for the fire extinguisher. It meant rooting in the “why” and allowing the “what” to shift and flow along the way.

If you’ve been nodding along while reading this, feeling the familiar prickle of ‘I’ve been there,’ then here’s your sign. The universe is whispering (or rather, emphatically encouraging): Choose you. Fire those crusty old gatekeepers of your dreams. Plot your own course.

In choosing myself, I stopped being an understudy in my own narrative. And if I can share one nugget of hard-earned wisdom, it’s that the story gets really good right at the point where you pick up the pen.

So here’s to writing chapters that thrill you, to never needing anyone else’s nod to bravely start the next scene, and to being the unequivocal hero of your unfolding tale.

P.S. If you want help on your path to choosing yourself, check out The Shift Coaching programs I offer. I’d love to support your journey to more aliveness, more spark, and more YOU.

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