Articles - Kathy Varol

 

You are a star, and you are the cosmos

There’s a quiet truth I come back to again and again: We are each a star. And we are also the entire cosmos. It sounds poetic, maybe even a bit woo, but this metaphor is a powerful reminder. In this human life, we are living as one star in the …

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Not meant to go unnoticed

Last week, I tried something different in my meditation practice. It’s a framework called Existential Kink, developed by Dr. Carolyn Lovewell (formerly Elliott), that invites you to explore the unconscious pleasure you might secretly be getting from your most painful or persistent patterns. The premise is simple, if a little …

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You have to go into the darkness to meet your becoming

The quote came through in a conversation—unplanned, unfiltered, quietly thunderous: “You have to go into the darkness to meet your becoming.” It landed in my body before my mind caught up. Because I’ve lived it. Because I’m still living it. We talk about transformation like it’s a sunrise. But it’s …

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Family jet lag

There’s a particular kind of tired that sneaks in after I’ve spent time with family. It’s not exhaustion from too many social interactions. It’s not just a sugar crash from all the snacks, or emotional fatigue from navigating different personalities. It’s something else entirely. I’ve started to call it family …

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Through the looking glass

On the wall of my home hangs a portrait of Marilyn Monroe. But it’s not the Marilyn you’d expect. Not the perfectly posed, red-lipped icon smiling at the world through bedroom eyes. Not the blonde bombshell draped in diamonds. This Marilyn is something else entirely. A riot of color. A …

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How to stop chasing and start living

For years my husband said something to me that should have felt like the most beautiful gift in the world. You don’t need to earn any money. I just want you to create what you’re called to create. And every time, a part of me flinched. Pushed back. Refused to …

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Raise your glass to the wise voice within

My husband and I have a tradition. When we sit down with a cocktail or a glass of wine—whether we’re out at a restaurant or curled up on our own couch—we clink glasses and offer a toast. Nothing unusual about that. But here’s where it gets interesting: I often raise …

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The language of emotion.

My throat tightened before I even realized I was crying. I was mid-sentence—trying to say something personal, something that mattered—and suddenly I couldn’t get the words out. My chest constricted. My jaw trembled. My voice collapsed into silence. And in that split second, all I could think was: Damn it. …

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What if you took up more space?

A few weeks ago, I was introduced to someone for the first time. They said their name—three beautiful syllables—and then added with a quick smile, “But you can call me [short version] if my name is too long for you.” And just like that, something subtle but significant happened. They …

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I want more clients (and part of me is ashamed to admit it)

There’s a strange tightrope we’re taught to walk, especially as women. Be ambitious—but not too ambitious. Promote your work—but don’t come off as pushy. If you want more—say it indirectly, with an apologetic smile. For a long time, I danced that dance. I didn’t fully own what a great coach …

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