The Untethering
My brother’s kid is writing a book, and there’s a passage from it that keeps circling in my mind. In it, the parents of the main character notice something about their child’s name. A name that used to fit. A name that, for years, had been a kind of tether. …
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Two truths at once
I’ve been thinking about how hard it is to hold two truths at the same time. We’re trained, almost from the beginning, to simplify. To sort things into columns. Good or bad. Right or wrong. This or that. It makes the world feel manageable. But it also lies to us. …
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The right partner
My mom said something recently that I haven’t been able to put down. We were talking about what it feels like to watch your child find love. “You’re so happy when your child finds a partner who’s a good fit for them,” she said. And then she paused. “What I …
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The note on the mirror
My friend is trying to complain less. So he taped a note to his bathroom mirror. It says: complain less. At first this struck me as intentional. He noticed something about himself. He decided to change it. He put it somewhere he’d see it every single morning, before the day …
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The problem with: “Life is happening for you”
I met a girl on the Fourth of July. Twenty-two. Already divorced. Married just a few months before her husband disappeared. He just upped and left her. She told me the whole story. And the entire time, she was reaching for gratitude. Even though I could sense the raw heartbreak …
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What I learned in acting class
A few weeks ago I spent five days in an acting workshop. My first time taking an acting class. I didn’t know what I was walking into. I’m a writer. A speaker. I work with words on a page and a room full of faces. Standing in front of strangers …
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A Year and a half
A year and a half. That’s how long I’ve been working on my book proposal. This is not the speed I normally go. I rush out of the gates with excitement, never stopping to look back. This project started that way too. The first month, I had a proposal completely …
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Create distance to see clearly
Something goes wrong and there’s a feeling in my body before any of the facts are in. A quiet sinking. Of course. Of course it was me. The deal fell through. The friend went quiet. And before I’ve even looked at what actually happened, the verdict is already in. The …
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A new doorway
I love open houses. Not because I’m shopping. I rarely am. I go because I want to stand in someone else’s life for a few minutes and feel what it would be like to wake up here. To make coffee in this kitchen. To watch the light come through these …
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Reclaiming fear through reverence
I was five, maybe six. The crack in the cliff was about three feet across. The drop below it was twenty. I jumped. I didn’t know if I’d clear it. I jumped anyway. Because I wanted to belong, and the currency that I thought mattered was fearlessness. Flinching disqualified you. …
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