The dance of deception (and how I stepped off the dance floor)
This year has offered me a masterclass in manipulation. Not the overt kind that storms through the door, easy to recognize and reject. No, this was subtler. Trickier. Wearing a different outfit each time, but always with the same intent: to bend my perception or behavior into a shape someone …
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The body keeps score. But it also keeps possibility.
You’ve probably heard it before: “The body keeps the score.” And it’s true. Your body remembers. The clenched jaw from years of silencing yourself. The tension in your shoulders from carrying responsibilities that were never yours. The tight chest from the times you weren’t picked, weren’t heard, weren’t safe. Trauma …
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Being liked is not the same as being loved
We’re taught from a young age how to be liked. Be polite. Be pleasant. Don’t rock the boat. Smile, nod, be agreeable. We learn to read a room before we learn to read ourselves. We become fluent in the subtle art of editing: Softening opinions. Swallowing needs. Offering the most …
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Avoidance is not protection, it’s postponement
There’s a part of you that already knows this. That unopened envelope on the kitchen counter. The uncomfortable conversation you keep rescheduling. The dream you talk about but never move toward. The grief you keep distracting yourself from. You tell yourself it’s not the right time. That you’ll deal with …
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You don’t need to be understood to be valid
There’s a particular kind of ache that comes from not being understood. You open your heart. You share a truth. You take a risk. And the other person just… doesn’t get it. Worse, they might judge it. Dismiss it. Twist it into something it’s not. And suddenly, that truth, once …
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Not everything you feel is yours
There’s a tightness in your chest. A heaviness behind your eyes. A low hum of urgency you can’t quite place. You try to trace it. Did something happen today? Did you forget something important? Did you do something wrong? But no matter how hard you search, you can’t find the …
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The illusion of thinking your way into being
There’s something seductive about the mind. It whispers promises of certainty, control, and clarity. It tells us that if we just think a little harder, read a little more, take one more course, or make the perfect plan…then, we’ll finally feel ready. Ready to speak up. To quit the job. …
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The awkward, essential middle
We don’t talk enough about the middle. Not the exciting beginning, when inspiration strikes and everything feels possible. Not the triumphant end, when the thing is finished, launched, celebrated, or integrated. But the part in between. The part where you suck at it. Where your words fall flat. Where your …
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How you talk to yourself is how you teach others to treat you
We often think of self-talk as something private. An internal monologue. A harmless habit. A behind-the-scenes commentary that no one else can hear. But here’s the truth: Your internal dialogue sets the energetic tone of your entire life. The way you speak to yourself. How you narrate your worth, your …
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The superpower I hid for 38 years—and what it cost me
For most of my life, I pretended I didn’t see you. I convinced myself it wasn’t my place to notice your sadness, your fear, your pain. From a young age, I learned that seeing too much could make people uncomfortable. Acknowledging what I saw—your vulnerability, your cracks—seemed to threaten the …
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