Through the looking glass - Kathy Varol

Through the looking glass

projections

On the wall of my home hangs a portrait of Marilyn Monroe.

But it’s not the Marilyn you’d expect.

Not the perfectly posed, red-lipped icon smiling at the world through bedroom eyes. Not the blonde bombshell draped in diamonds. This Marilyn is something else entirely. A riot of color. A face fragmented and reassembled. Lips parted, eyes caught somewhere between seduction and sorrow.

It looks more like an emotional MRI than a glamour shot.

And I can’t stop looking at it.

To me, this isn’t just a piece of art. It’s a mirror.

I imagine this is what Marilyn saw when she looked in the mirror: distortion. Not because she didn’t know who she was, but because the projections placed on her were louder than her own reflection.

The world demanded she be a symbol. And then it devoured her.

She was made into a sex object long before she was old enough to understand what that meant. (Marilyn herself spoke of being sexually abused as a child.) She was cast as the dumb blonde, the damsel in distress, the desire of every man and the envy of every woman. But who was she beneath all of that?

Who was Norma Jeane? The woman before Marilyn Monroe was created.

When I stand in front of this painting, I don’t just see the chaos of fame. I see the cost of projections. I see the toll of being turned into someone else’s fantasy while trying to hold onto your own reality.

And I wonder, how many of us are doing the same?

How often do we lose ourselves in the expectations of others?

The boss who expects you to always be “on.”
The friend who only reaches out when they need advice.
The family who praises your achievements but never asks how you feel.

How often do we become what others need us to be and forget what we need to be for ourselves?

Marilyn’s story is a tragedy and a warning. A soft, haunting whisper: If you don’t define who you are, someone else will.

We all need a practice of returning. Of peeling off the projections. Of remembering who we were before the world told us who to be.

For me, that means grounding into my own body before I step into a meeting.
It means writing before the day begins, just for me, not for performance or productivity.
It means noticing when I start performing instead of being and gently calling myself home.

Because the truth is: we’re all at risk of losing ourselves under the noise of projections.

So today, I invite you to ask:

  • Where have I internalized someone else’s vision of me?
  • What parts of me feel blurry under the weight of expectation?
  • And what might it look like to return to myself, even just a little, today?

You don’t need to shatter the mirror. But you can start cleaning it.

Because underneath the layers of projection, of performance, of protection—
You’re still there.

And the world doesn’t need another person lost behind the weight of projections.

It needs you.

P.S. If you’ve been living under layers of projection, performance, or protection, and you’re ready to start peeling them back, this is the work I do in coaching. I create sacred, honest space to help you remember who you are underneath the roles you’ve been playing. To reconnect with your voice, your truth, your center. If you’re ready to meet yourself again, I’d be honored to walk with you.

👉 [Book a coaching session here.]

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