As I’ve kicked off this year, I’ve been naming my intention as balance. Less over-giving. More reciprocity. An end to the quiet exhaustion of pouring without being met.
That intention was real. And true. And necessary.
But recently, in a conversation that slowed me down just enough, I realized something important.
Balance isn’t actually what I’m longing for.
Balance is the baseline.
Reciprocity is the minimum requirement.
It’s being met where I am.
It’s not being drained.
It’s not being taken advantage of.
And yes, I want that. Deeply.
But when I was asked, What do you really want this next chapter to feel like? something else surfaced. Something warmer. Wilder. More alive.
What I want is to be wooed by life itself.
Not just met.
Not just evenly exchanged with.
Wooed.
I want life to court me the way I court it.
I don’t just want to be met halfway. I want to be courted. I want life—and the people who enter it—to offer things because they know it will delight me, the way I offer things because I love delighting others. Not out of obligation. Out of desire. The way my husband and I do this for each other so naturally. The way generosity becomes playful, creative, alive.
I don’t just want reciprocity.
I want romance with existence.
I want to feel like life is leaning toward me.
Surprising me.
Leaving little notes on the counter.
Arranging coincidences just because it knows I’ll smile.
I want synchronicity.
Spontaneity.
Moments that feel like gifts, not transactions.
And the truth is, when you’ve lived out of balance for a long time, when you’ve been the one holding, carrying, delighting, making things work, you can mistake the relief of being met for the fullness of being lit up.
Reciprocity can feel like magic when you’ve been starved of it.
But it’s not the same as enchantment.
I invite you to ask yourself: Are you asking life for what you truly want…
Or are you just asking it to stop hurting you?
Are you aiming for the bare minimum because you’ve been operating in deficit for so long that “enough” feels luxurious?
Or when you let yourself imagine beyond repair and recovery, beyond fairness and balance, does something else stir?
Something that feels playful.
Magical.
Alive.
What would it feel like to be delighted?
Not just supported.
Not just validated.
But wooed.
What would it feel like if the people, opportunities, conversations, and experiences entering your life weren’t just neutral or non-draining, but actively nourishing? Chosen? Crafted with you in mind?
This isn’t about entitlement or bypassing effort.
It’s not about sitting back and waiting to be entertained.
It’s about orientation.
It’s about asking yourself what kind of relationship you actually want with your life.
For me, this realization reframed everything.
The move.
The changes.
The boundaries.
The way I’m listening now for what feels expansive rather than merely acceptable.
Balance steadies you.
But enchantment animates you.
I want to feel life falling in love with me the way I’ve been falling in love with it all along.
So I’ll leave you with this invitation:
Don’t stop at what’s fair.
Don’t stop at what’s functional.
Don’t stop at what simply hurts less.
Ask yourself what would make you feel alive.
And then notice what shifts when you let that be the thing you’re listening for.
