For years my husband said something to me that should have felt like the most beautiful gift in the world.
You don’t need to earn any money. I just want you to create what you’re called to create.
And every time, a part of me flinched.
Pushed back.
Refused to accept it.
My thoughts would immediately jump in:
But I need to make money.
That’s how I validate myself.
That’s how I know I matter.
That’s how I make sure I’m safe.
Even though my soul recognized the purity and love in his words, my ego defensively shoved them away.
It turns out, acceptance isn’t as simple as it sounds.
From an early age, we’re trained to practice unacceptance.
We’re taught to brush off compliments. To downplay our gifts. To act smaller than we are so we don’t appear arrogant, selfish, or “too much.” To continue to prove, prove, prove.
If we aren’t able to receive the small things, how will we be able to receive the huge things?
And over time, we get stuck in a pattern: when we reject the good being offered, when we feel it’s undeserved, we stay stuck chasing it.
Chasing validation.
Chasing recognition.
Chasing worth.
The habit of unacceptance traps us in a perpetual cycle of longing.
Even when what we want is already right in front of us (or within us).
Here’s the deeper truth: When you reject a genuine gift—whether it’s a compliment, an opportunity, or an expression of love—you’re not just turning down the gift from the giver (which, by the way, feels horrible for the giver).
You’re turning the gift away from yourself.
Your inner world doesn’t know the difference between a show of “humility” and a deeply-held belief.
It doesn’t know when you’re joking.
It doesn’t know when you’re being “polite”.
It only knows the words you repeat—and the emotions you embody.
Every time I minimized myself under the guise of “humility,” I was teaching my system not to trust abundance.
Not to trust others’ reflections.
Not to trust the parts of me that already were enough.
Learning to accept, really accept, isn’t about entitlement. It’s about alignment.
It’s about ending the chase.
It’s about allowing yourself to finally arrive.
When I let myself receive my husband’s gift, truly receive it, it changes everything:
I stop measuring my worth by output.
I heal the self-worth wound built on performance.
I create from love, not obligation.
I show up more expansively for my clients, my community, and myself.
Here’s what I want to offer you (and myself):
Take stock of the gifts people are offering you—
The small ones, like compliments.
The big ones, like belief and opportunities.
What would change if you stopped deflecting them?
What would shift if you started accepting them with a full, open heart?
Because the path to real contentment, the kind that doesn’t fade the moment you reach a goal, isn’t paved with chasing.
It’s paved with acceptance.
Maybe the version of you who can accept love, recognition, and abundance as easily as you once accepted struggle, is the version who’s been waiting for you to arrive all along.
